Kross’s Christmas Box Blessings

My Dear Friends and Family,

As Christmas day approaches I know that it will be a difficult day for me and my family to get through without the love and support of those around us. This year would have been Kross’ first Christmas. Please consider a moment to send an email or note:

I am going to have a special Christmas box for Kross. The hope is to fill it with heartfelt notes from those who wish to help us in remembering our baby boy who is no longer with us. Knowing that your child is not forgotten is the best gift you can give a bereaved mother. The notes really have no guideline, just write what you feel. You can write to Kross, to me, to our family. It doesn’t have to be more than a sentence really. The point is just to remember him with us on Christmas. The smallest gesture carries the biggest comfort and love in the hardest of times. I figured this is a great way for all those around me to love and support me through this holiday without actually having to be here or call me as I know all of us have families to be with.

I want to say that there is no need to “sensor” your writings or be afraid that I will be sad in talking about Kross. Nothing makes me sadder than the fact that he is not here with us, and remembering him brings some peace to my heart. I encourage all of you to just write what is in your heart, if you had things that you wish you could have said to Kross, me, or our family then I ask you to do so. It can help you as much as it helps me. I appreciate any notes or thoughts that are sent to fill Kross’ box, I will hold them all very close to my heart!

So here is how I am going to accomplish this:
Please send all notes to casgair@gmail.com. Or you can facebook email or comment. I will also be creating a special place on my blog for you to submit something if you like. This link will come at a later date. I will print them out on Christmas and put them in Kross’ box and on Christmas day my family and I will read them. I will be checking for the last notes on Christmas morning, so send them any time until then.

Thank you again for everything and helping us remember Kross and helping us during these holidays when it will be so very hard not to think of him.

Traci

Dear Misti,
You said that there were no guidelines in writing to you and your family, so I will just write what is on my heart. To you, I want you to know how much I admire you-for your honesty, your strength, for just putting one foot in front of the other when all you really want to do is lie down and cry. I don’t pretend to even have clue of what to say to bring you comfort, but one thing we both KNOW is that this world does not even compare to the brightness and glory of where your sweet Kross is. How happy he must be surrounded by God, the Son and the angels in heaven. God gave him the best of it all, to be loved by wonderful parents on this earth, then to come home to Him.
Michael, though I don’t know you, to you, I say thank you. I know you must be a very special man by the way that Misti speaks of you. Thank you for being the rock, supporter and provider of the family. And thank you for being so good to my friend.
Braeden and Gunner, Merry Christmas! I know this is a very special Christmas for you, knowing that your brother is in heaven. You are two sweet boys. I hope Santa is good to you! :)
Kross, how loved you are! You are one special little boy who is thought of every day by hundreds of people. Enjoy your first Christmas in heaven!
Misti, I hope you are comforted by these letters of remembrance and hope. I know that it has been years since you and I have seen each other and that I am not a close friend who has been able to be with you through this past year, but know that I think of you often and I care about you, Michael, Gunner, Braeden and Kross!
Love,
Traci

Erica
Misti, Micheal, Braeden and Gunner,

My heart still breaks for you on losing your precious baby Kross. I know this time of year is especially difficult. As I know it is a struggle and an uphill climb for you. Someone once told me to “let go and let God” and you have to press forward to be able to finish the purpose that the Good Lord has put you on this earth for. I know this is easier said than done. I know that Kross’s passing was not expected and you wanted him here with you. Someone also once told, me there is a blessing to come out of everything that the Lord does, be it a happy or sad time. There is a bright spot; He is spending his first Christmas with Jesus just like my mama. And what a joy this is! Kross will always be with you, either watching from up above or some little blessing that you will feel his presence when you need it the most, but he will ALWAYS remain in your heart forever. Much love and hugs and prayers go up for you every day and will continue…..

Much love,

Erica

Mamaw

Dear God, I need to talk to you. On this Christmas Eve I have but one true wish and this wish is that you hold our baby Kross just a little closer tonight. He is so tiny Lord and he needs to feel the spirit of his family around him on his first Christmas away from us. I realize that I have been asking an awful lot of you lately but please…please place a kiss on his tiny forehead and whisper in his ear that his Mom-maw loves him so very much. I can still feel his soft smooth skin against my lips where I tried to place a million little kisses on him before I had to give him that one last kiss goodbye…and Lord, can you tell him that his mommy and daddy and brothers miss him too? They are hurting at this moment and I think that only you and Kross can give them any peace today. This will be such a bittersweet time for our family but with a little help maybe we can get thru this a little easier…and God, I just need to ask you yet again to please make my baby girl whole again. She is just so broken and I know only you can put her back together.

God…I just needed to talk to you

Misti and Michael…Braeden and Gunner,
I know this isn’t what you expected from me but it is what was in my heart. I wish for Christmas that I could make it better for you all…but I cant…I know this. I do want you to know that never ever will Kross be forgotten or be any less important than any of you in my heart. I know that you can’t know this but the grief of a loving grandparent is almost as unbearable as a parent I suspect. I know sometimes that I just ache from missing this tiny little being that even though he was a sleeping angel from the beginning…he was still able to wrap himself around my heart. I know that because of this beautiful little boy, I am changed forever. I love you all. Please try for Kross’ sake to find some happiness today. He would want that. I’m not going to wish you all a Merry Christmas…I know it won’t be…but I do wish you Christmas Blessings….
Love, Momma

Leighann

You know I’m terrible with words and always afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. So, please know I love you and only mean the best. I hope I never say or do anything to make things worse for you. So here goes…
I am so sorry your family has had to go through such a terrible tragedy. I hope that every Christmas, it gets just a little more bearable. Although, I don’t expect you will ever be totally complete again. I can’t even begin to imagine the many emotions you all have been experiencing these past few months. As difficult as it may be, I hope your family has a very blessed holiday. Children are what make Christmas so wonderful, and I’m happy that you do have two little ones to brighten your days even though one is missing in your house and in your hearts. I don’t know that anything can bring comfort to such broken hearts as yours must be, but to stop and think about it, Kross must be receiving the best Christmas gifts one could ever ask for!! I’m sending my love your way and wishing you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Kristi

I have thought about this for weeks. I am not sure what to say but I will try to put into words the things I would like to say but will never be able to.
Kross I will never hear the sounds of you sweet voice when I call on the phone. I will miss the gleam in your eyes when you figure out I have a snack. I long to hold you close and tickle you belly. I would love to hear your squeals and laughter on Christmas. I think you would have been a tough little guy and pull at the Christmas tree.lol. I would have to give you a little taste of something sweet when you mom and dad were not looking.
I love and miss you Kross and think about you every day.
Merry Christmas baby I will love you always
Aunt Kristi

Brenda Schraner

Baby Kross comes to us in a necklace that Shelli has that is a heart with a cross in it. This Kross will come off the necklace and we find it everywhere in the house. The other day when I was wrapping gifts it was on the floor and in my bed and then I lost it I thought and later found it on the living room floor. that… is how the little one is here for us. Simply know he is never forgotten and that the name Kross will always be said by us because we love him before, now and forever. Love nana

Dana Monfore Lucas

Misti, this is just beautiful. I love it. I envisioned it all. You might want to make this a Children’s Book one day, Hun. The funny part of my imagination had Jesus ready to give Kross a “time out” for sneaking away and jumping ahead…

I just love all the gifts of spoken word, and love that you put into the Box for Kross. Hey, wouldn’t that be a good idea in reverse for Gunner and Braeden? How about slips of paper (like Chinese Cookie fortunes) with messages from Kross and Jesus? Put them in little boxes and wrap it up. You can say, “This has Braeden’s name on it, but I don’t know who it is from…”

On another note: I want you to know that as I was reading this story you wrote, I found myself wishing that you and all my other “newly bereaved” mothers/parents could feel the JOY I feel in being Rowan’s mother and having an Angel Son. I sense that you will, one day, know that feeling Misti. You have been so diligent at honoring your grieving process which is loaded with blessing, lessons, and, yes, pain…Yet, this is the journey that will take you to the JOY. Keep on keeping on, My Friend…. See More

Gratitude to you for sharing your Kross and such a BEAUTIFUL story with me/us!

Kristie Haley

Dear Misti,

My heart is with you and all your family during this Christmas season. I can only imagine how your heart is breaking and has been for months now. Every time I look at you, my heart breaks even more. I know you would give anything to have Kross with you. I know Kross is in a good place, but he missed out on an opportunity to have … See More been with two of the best parents he could have ever asked for and had two great brothers also. I have never told you this, but we were really looking forward to having Kross at the daycare. We would have loved him and took the very best care of him that we have Gunner. Gunner is very special to me, as Kross would have been too. I have known you my whole life Misti, and I consider you a great friend and one of the most loving and caring people I know and I am so sorry for your pain. I pray for you and your family and the strength to get you through the struggles that you will always face with Kross’ absence in your lives.

Kross you are very much loved and missed.

Beth Wink

Kross,
you are my nephew that I got to hold in my arms for a brief moment but will never know. I know the love of a mother and you are missing out a great mom. Yet you are in heaven with our maker rejoicing in the Lord. We will see you at the end of this life on earth and begin our time with you. Please send down tears of joy onto your family and heal the broken hearts. Kennedy & I love you very much!

Angie Adams King

Thinking of you… I know this is just one of many “firsts” that you will miss with your dear Kross, and I can only hope that time eases your pain. It’s so hard to understand why sweet babies like Kross aren’t allowed to stay with their families; I don’t think anyone ever will. I know that he would have had a great time with his big brothers. I’m sure Braeden would have shown him everything about football, and Gunner…well I’m sure they would have played some kind of superheroes together. My heart goes out to all of you especially during this time. I pray that these letters from all of your friends and family will help you feel our love and support over the holidays. We love you all and hope that you can allow yourself to enjoy at least a few moments with your boys here knowing that Kross is looking down on you from heaven.

Beth Dodge

Oh Misti, I do not even know how to put in writing the feelings I hope you can feel coming through. I am so terribly sorry you and your family have had to endure this great loss. I pray for you and your family that God heals and mends your hearts, and I hope you know that even when He feels so far away He is carrying you through this darkest of … See More time. I wish for you to never lose faith and never lose your love that you have. I know that as hard as this is going to be to read I believe you do still understand it is meant with the best of true intentions and feelings, Kross is able to kiss the face of God, something I think we all wish we could. He is held by Him and knows how deeply you hurt and ache, and loves you sooooo much. He is a true angel. God did not do this to hurt you, He loves you so much. He needed Kross to be with Him. He knew that Kross would have had to endure too much in his life here on earth, and the Bible verse does tell us that God only takes us to situations He knows we can handle, and if not He gives us the way out. This was Kross’ way out, so he didn’t endure pain or suffering. Please know Misti I am not trying to force this all down your throat. I am simply telling what my heart feels. Please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers!

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